Pickled

Life Afterlife

2010-09-05T20:23:00.006+05:30

Life was back then, till the summer of '09
Afterlife came after that, I'd already begun to pine.

Life was when I went to college
Short days and nights on high gear
Afterlife's when I live with the knowledge
That the weekdays are alike and weekends are dear.

Life was when I had all the choices
Every flavor I had tried and tested
Afterlife brought its own juices
Most were water, sugar, and I adjusted.

Life was when I didn't care what I was doing,
So long as I was having fun
Afterlife is when I don't know what I'm doing,
Or why; all I do is run.

Run the rat race at a fast pace,
Or it'll be nothing but all things bad.
Find yourself in the sewage or in a lab,
But do it fast, or you'll be had.

The Question.

2009-11-14T20:06:00.005+05:30

I was watching a movie today on TV and there was this commercial about great weekend getaways on islands or something. I thought, "Wow, how lovely if i had an island of my own." Strange how mundane this thought actually is. Surely everyone will want an island to themselves. But there really aren't islands for all of us. What then? Do we dismiss this want as a lofty dream that can only be an abstraction and can never turn into reality? Why? I really want an island. I want to dig up sand castles and put little flags on them and build a home for my people to live a-happily. It seems much more important than having a job and earning money. Of course, earning money is a given since noone in my family owns an island and even if someone did, it wouldn't be a part of my legacy. So i'd have to have money to buy an island. But then, in the end, if i had that money, my childhood ambition of visiting all the countries in the world would need funding, and then i'd have to earn more money sitting on my new island.
I'm going wayward; my point is this: what happens to the dreams and aspirations of humans, both lofty and otherwise? Do they, in some weird way, serve as a reason for existence? Some people i know would say, "No, that's responsibility. You exist because you have to fulfil your responsibilities and obligations." Whatever.
I'm going wayward again, but more purposefully so. The thing is that there is not enough resources on this planet to fulfil our aspirations. I'm sure someone will disagree saying, "Hey, all i really want is X or Y or S(p) to be happy. I don't need the earth's resources to fulfil that!" But still, if we take a majority, it really is difficult to satisfy everyone's dreams. And then, our dreams keep changing and morphing and growing all the time. What of those? And then what about the things that we need? Clean air, broader roads with lesser potholes, more schools, cheaper access to air travel, etcetera, those are essential and their absence infuriates us and makes us want them and thus add them to our wish list. So with this growing list of wants on the one hand and the inability of the Earth, Nature, Technology, Fate, God, whatever to fulfil it all on the other, we have a pair of weary hands far apart. I'd prolly pause to admire the wide shoulders of this huge being, which, i assume to be a human male, but that would be going wayward for the third time.
Having now explained the situation in detail, my next exploration is in the direction of the theory of action to take in such a scenario. What dyou do when you want something?
A. You start working towards it diligently from Day 0,
B. You want something else 30 minutes later and are confused
C. You remind yourself that you have responsibilities on your shoulder,
D. You achieve it with ease, and plan your next item on the wish list.
The ideal action would be D. But none of us is perfect. So how do we do this? I mean, if this is the purpose of living, we have simply got to do something, right?
Yeah, there are things that we can do. Like wanting simpler things and not always building castles in the air, staying focused on one goal at a time, etcetera. By the way, what i'm actually doing here is simply talking to myself. There is not much take-away material here for a reader. You're simply witnessing the introspections of a confused person being essayed here.

At the end of it, I recollect some thoughts from friends on this subject, such as this: The mind is usually wanting things, and the man becomes a servant of the mind. He must, instead, concentrate on being content, selfless and temperate. That's not really possible by everybody. That kind of philosophy may be applied as i border on senior citizenship. It really is the purpose of life: WHAT I WANT. Unnerving? So true!

"y no mail?"

2009-09-27T22:16:00.002+05:30

I was reading my some old mails and came across quite a few mails i had sent to my cousins and brother and sister-in-law. What I saw made me want to shake my head to clear the dew collecting inside my head. I had been so brazenly open about whatever I wanted them to do, and they would always reply with a sorry. I've never really been all that brave with anyone, but when it came to emails, here i was ordering them around! Well it wasn't really all that bad but still, I'm just surprised that those were written by me.

My first incoming mail was spam. CIAL1S for a 13 year old girl! No wonder it was unread mail. 'Course, Harish anna had probably instructed me not to open such mails. Did he tell me what Cial1s was? I really don't remember.

dear anna,
wot happened?i've not heard 4m u 4 @least 2 m's!!!
btw i m cruising thru my hols and 2morrow i get my xam
results.got 2 go to the kovil u no!btw,my cousin Reshmi's here and she's leaving 2de 4 kozhikode.h annas here.wt more?
pls do tell me when u r coming back 2 our dear Bharat mahaan!?
so long since i seen u .whn is ur course finishin?pls dont forget to mail.
anna says u r going thru a lot of tuf times.sok.tuf times do come u no?
of corz u do.ha !joke of the ear!!! ;-)anys pls reply soon.
be,
poochai.

I know it's crazy of me to post this here, but I couldn't help noticing how different I am now from back then. This was sent to a cousin when I was 15. My English was bad and I used the SMS language. The subject of the mail was: 'y no mail?'. I struggled to read and understand it today. I posted it here because I had a hearty laugh reading it, and invite you to read your first email, if you were born at the right time :)

FYI,
Wrote that email during my vacations after 10th standard to a cousin in the US.
Kovil means temple in Tamil.
Kozhikode is a place in Kerala. A lot of people I know haven't heard of the place, and most can't pronounce it. You gotta roll your tongue a particular way to get the 'zhi' part right.
H anna means Harish Anna, my brother.
Poochai in Malayalam means cat. It was one of my pet names.

It was all meant to be.

2009-09-13T00:01:00.003+05:30

Always thought life was white and snowy
Just didnt wanna know it was not.
Always wished for things too early
Could have waited, it's my fault.

Why would I be upset and complain
When all is fine and set to rumble
But in fact its all a new terrain
'Course its my fault when I stumble

Lots of wise words from everyone
All having sense, I'm guessing
After all, they say, it's your decision
Wont take no blame for messing.

All the hope and faith I had
On the plans that had been laid
Of a life-like dream I'd had
Or is it a dreamy life I lead?

In the mechanics of routine life
The little joys I've lost
Like golden rows of candlelight
In a hallway caught by a draught.

Standing under the shower
I wash my woes away
It's right then that I wonder
Why it rained today.

2009-05-02T22:14:00.002+05:30

How jobless am i....

Walking back from the salon
each step turns into a muse
why did i not make it stop
why did i not let it loose?
after all it was the scare
of the scissor's so bright glare
why did i let it nip my tongue
and render my limbs useless and bare?
i watched them fall and i cried
i looked at my future stepping aside
into the darkness and out of the light
leaving me in all my plight
i turned to my fairy godmother,she said
it's time you climbed into my comfort bed
so i did, with all my sad stories to tell
she told me to look in the window of hell
there was crying, wailing, an air of despair
she said, "Do you know what lies out there?"
"Kids cry for food and a mother, for love
is but found in a priceless treasure trove!
They know no smiles, no tears of joy.
All they know is pain in an endless envoy."
"Find yourself here, and i will grow back your hair"
"You know, sadness and joy never made a pair!"
I closed my eyes to view the world I couldn't see
and let my tears fall, they had set me free
I opened them and there was my phone, ringing
and i greeted it with a voice that was singing

That was really good timepass; you know, when you're all idle and bored and can't think of anything to do, so you go to the salon to get a haircut just for the heck of it?
No?
Well, it must be me then, and not the recession, or exams or age.
Tomorrow, I'll be visiting the dentist.

The End of Life as I know it :(

2009-04-08T20:40:00.002+05:30

The last day of college came and went. No one shed tears, everyone was busy taking photos, signing tees, talking, laughing, without any care for the world, happy to just spend time with their friends. I was in that crowd too, talking and laughing with my friends. Maybe it was a good thing everybody forgot the fact that college life was over.
In the last four years, I've learnt a million things and met a lot of really nice people I hope to keep in touch with for the rest of my life.
It's just not possible to explain. It's like the end of an era. You just have to turn the page to the next chapter and get working on cracking it. It's something i really dont want to do. I've never been a stranger to change, but this time, i'm terrified of it. It seems like a large monster waiting to gobble up my life as I know it, and regurgitate a new one, with a sparkling new pen and notepad, which reminds me of our Project Lead coming over to my cubicle to give us a complimentary pen and pad. That gesture signified something, because I never got anything for free in college. We paid for everything, but we had loads of fun. But then, in office, I get free pens and gym time whenever i want, but life is far from being a party. No familiar smiling faces, no crowding up the canteen for food tokens (call it the cafeteria now), no throwing your bag on your favourite table and chewing on Melody chocolate that the cashier gives you instead of change, no more noises that can help drown out any laughter that you might wanna indulge in, no more bunking classes and still managing to get that all-important 75% attendance, i could do this for quite a while.
It's true for everyone, all 4th yr students. Everybody moves on. Some look back, some stay back, some others brood abut it and write posts like this one, some just forget about it in the hope of finding a better place to live, cos they didnt really have a good time. But for most of them, I can safely say that it surely would have been the most influential 4 years, a time that shaped them into what they are now, transformed them from completely lost 17 year olds to sensible and hopefully responsible grown-ups.
I guess i'm not looking at the bright side. Life is probably just starting. I'll probably be glad that i get to go out on weekend vacations, earn my own money and spend it the way i want, get to meet loads of new people and learn loads of new stuff from them in my own way, nobody gives me assignments, marks or attendance. But thats really not the point, I dont wanna get out of college! I dont want the party to end! Life was too good, the uncertainity that i now face looks nothing like what i want to do, and scares me no end.
Thats about the most brooding i want to do. It's party time! Farewell, a couple or more exams, and then it's the biggest vacation of my life. I'm making sure that time doesnt go down the drain.
To all my batchmates, i say, "I will miss you". To everyone who's past this, i say, sorry if i got you missing college days again. To juniors, i say, enjoy every second and make every moment a memorable one, but don't really worry about 4th year and leaving college and stuff, there's a lot to do before that!

Days 6, 7, 8 ...

2009-01-02T19:19:00.002+05:30

Up we got, late as usual, at 08:00. And we were off to Rohtang Pass/ Snow Point. We got into four mini-buses, each carrying about 10 people, and started the 52 km long drive. The road initially followed the river Beas through Manali Town and then turned to rocky and uneven terrain. The higher we climbed, the colder it got. I was glad for my two jackets and my new cap. We stopped in between to pick up suits that would protect us from the cold at Snow Point, and I tried on about 5 coats, and finally settled for a hideous purple skiing suit. We continued up the rocky uneven road, and started spotting tiny frozen waterfalls, which sometimes overflowed onto the road and froze, making it slippery and dangerous-looking. The view was nothing like any I had ever seen. Simply too many mountains topped with delicious looking snow and sparkling bright in the December sun! We stopped on the way for an early lunch, where we realised how windy and cold it was outside the vehicle. After a lunch of noodles, pav bhaji and dosa, we continued, not before picking up lots of Lays and other munchies.
We arrived at about 12:00 at Snow Point, and it was super-snow-fight- time! I did some skiing, fell about a dozen times, each time bracing myself to hear the snap of bones breaking, (the skiing shoes were hard and came upto the middle of the shin, so if u fell, u risked breaking your legs if u fell on ur skis and couldn't move your legs in time), assuming that they make a noise when they break. Fortunately, I got through the exercise in one piece, and so did everyone else.
Everyone was filling their caps with snow, which was a tough task in itself as the snow wasn't soft adn had to be scraped off the ground, and flung it at their targets. I got a couple of earfuls, and another couple of capfuls down my suit, and of course, returned them with interest :P.
The best part of the visit to the place was, undoubtedly, the snow mobile ride. For 500 bucks, the friendly guy took us to highest point that was reachable, where the snow was soft and felt like sand. We sank knee deep in it and found it impossible to walk. Our guy offered to take photos and we gladly gave him our camera, and the photos turned out to contain only our faces and none of our surroundings :(( How I wish our hands weren't gloved and still frozen!
Anyway, after our jolly ride, we were left with drenched and freezing feet, and sore throats from all the screaming. Some more snow fighting and it was time to head back to Manali. After all the activity, the walk back to the vans was very tiring and we were glad for the warmth of the vehicle.
It was dark by 17:00 and I must say, hats off to the driver for making his way safely back to level ground. His taste for music was very interesting, and we got to listen to many new hindi songs. He also had an english song, i dont remember which one. and there was a local song with quite a haunting tune, that i can still remember; it was about a girl called Dinga Dingi. Funny name, but i dunno, the song took its place in my memory.
We reached the hotel, cold and tired, at about 20:00, changed and got ready for the bonfire. The best part of the bonfire was not the dancing, but the warmth from the fire. The hotel manager, who was our DJ for that night, played some really sad old disco songs and all we could do was wrinkle our noses in disgust. But someone managed to find some familiar songs and everyone was soon shaking a leg or two.
That ended day 6.

Day 7
The longest bus journey ever, from Manali to Delhi. The only things I want to remember of this drive is the beautiful river Beas, whose banks looked so extremely inviting, and muttar paneer and naan at a punjabi dhaba at 23:30.

Day 8
We reached Delhi at 04:00 after a 18 hour journey and were ushered into one Hotel Sunshine. That day, the 5th of December happened to be the day when someone supposedly fired in the air at Delhi Airport. The morning was spent in apprehension, but by the time we decided to skip most of our visit and only do some shopping after visiting India Gate, the news channels weren't even sure if it was indeed a firing. After India Gate and some shopping, we picked up subs for a change and headed to the railway station. Inspite of the rather inhospitable conditions within Himala, a goodbye to the bus and the driver and our tour guide Junaid was in order. That was the end of our tour, and the beginning of our journey back to sweet home Hyderabad.

Day 4 and 5

2008-12-19T16:48:00.005+05:30

Day 4 was the Shimla-Manali journey. It wasn't great; we sat in the unfriendly bus all day, lunch at a dhaba was horrible. But we managed to find delicious apples and carrots, bought lots of them for the rest of the journey and found these two cute little puppies on the way:

Inee cute!!

We also got some audio casettes to keep us sane through the rest of the journey, and the only other thing worth remembering was a 3 k.m. long tunnel, where, we were told, the shooting of a bollywood movie called Dhoom 2 took place. We girls were bored enough to think aloud: "Hrithik Roshan was here..".
Anyhow, we did reach Manali, not in time, of course. After dinner, it was time to celebrate, as it was one of the boys' birthday. Chetan's classmates had arranged a surprise for him: a nice huge cake was waiting for 00:00, accompanied by some hungry and constipated people :P. "How sweet.." I thought, a moment too soon. I will never understand birthday bumps. Why do people have to get kicked on their special day. It's so Ouch, and heck, you cant sit anywhere without regretting not having worn pillows instead of pants.

Day 5.
We visited one Hadimba Temple, a little place surrounded by lots of tall trees. Pine trees, I guess. We goofed around there for a bit, climbed a really high and unclimbable-looking rock, got ushered out of the place because it was "getting late", only to wait for everyone to finish shopping for the silliest stuff. I must've spent about an hour screaming Boredom and getting reduced to watching people bungee jump, wait for some wood keychains to be done, throw a ball at a pile of rubbish, yeah ok, it was a game a really smart local made up, and he was doing good business. That's one big turn-off of travelling in groups. It made me want to go off alone and look at shawls and sweaters all by myself.
Finally when seemed like my kids would arrive on their honeymoon any moment, we headed back down to the town, had some lunch, and goofed up a good plan to go river rafting. I seem to be using too many finally's but that's how the day was. Then a Tibetan monastery and some shopping later, we headed back to the hotel.
Some photos:
The temple, with Shruti sitting on the steps:

These are us goofing around. Boy how I wish I had a camera of my own..

At the end of the day, I had a pack of dry figs, a wool dress for Vedant, a sweater for Dad and a cap for me, and a lighter purse. Shopping bites.

Day 3

2008-12-15T20:16:00.004+05:30

I dont remember sleeping at all that night. At around 05:30, the bus stopped at a Gurudwara, so people could perform their basic morning ablutions. The morning was extremely cold, and I was sure my gums would freeze after I brushed my teeth! Obviously they didnt.
Anyway, we reached Shimla at 12:00; the 10 hour journey took 15 hours; we would soon get used to the way our driver did his math. The hotel was alright, but taking bath in the cold water was one experience I wont want to repeat, ever. After everyone was clean and fed, we moved on to visit Kufri, located about 20 k.m. away. This included a 2 k.m. ride on a pony! The ponies were very cute, and all of us first thought they were proper horses, till some of the 'proper horses' came gambolling towards us.
A pony ride can get uncomfortable, especially when you have to bend backwards while on a downward slope, and the pony almost jumps to cover most of the slope. My pony was called Toofan, and his master was Prem, a very friendly character who told us about movies that were shot there, how much they earned, the temperatures there, and the fact that it would snow in a couple of days. None of us had seen snow before and were cursing ourselves for our timing.
The pony ride ended midway to the top of the mountain. We got off, and roamed around. marvelling at whatever we saw. Bits of snow here and there, and the Himalayas far away. A setting sun and about 30 contented-looking ponies. Throw in a food stall that sold piping hot Maggi noodles and some shopping. And some typical touristy activity like getting photographed wearing the traditional Manali dress, on a yak wearing a cowboy hat, and spotting the India-China border through a telescope.
Some photos:
Siri, Shilpa, Shruti and me. Hoping we can strike the same pose on top of Mt.Everest some day, and me regretting not getting my jacket along:

Shilpa, Siri and Shruti in the traditional Manali outfit:

The India-China border should be lurking in here:

For me, the highlight of Kufri was the setting sun, which we caught on the pony ride back to the bus. It was breath-taking. Deep red and glowing orange among the pine trees and the faraway mountains. Pity I couldnt capture it on camera; I was too insecure with Toofan acting up and trying to get me to focus on the more boring features like the rocky slope and the awkward angles that your leg could bend to if your pony acted up.
Back at Shimla, we loitered around Mall road, didnt shop(Junaid warned us that it would all be too expensive, which it was not.), had pizzas and burgers for dinner at a Cafe for a change, and headed back to the hotel.
Slumber that night felt like heavenly tonic or amrut, since I hadnt slept for 3 nights in a row. And three cheers to clean teeth before hitting the sack. Yeah well, girls do have issues while travelling. :D

Day 2

2008-12-14T11:32:00.005+05:30

Day 2 of the tour started for us at 03:45, when most of our party was awake and waiting to get off at Agra, which was the first destination on our itinerary. I had hardly slept, and could remember the pace of time, having listened to about 40 songs on my iPod, and a couple of kids doing their customary wailing. We got off at Agra at about 06:00, where we were greeted by two grumpy TT's who wanted to see everybody's ID cards, and the knowledge that our luggage was quite heavy indeed. There was some confusion as some students hadn't brought their ID's along, thanks to lack of proper communication. It was all managed well by Chaitanya, the student who managed most of the tour for us, and our tour guide Junaid, a young and tiny looking man with a squeaky voice like that of a meek lady. A fine of Rs.1000 was paid and we were soon aboard the bus, called Himala that would take us through most of our journey. As we went around Agra city, i looked around eagerly at the northernmost part of India i had traveled so far. The people spoke friendly hindi, and it was easy to communicate with them. We stopped in front of a gate labeled West gate, Taj Mahal. It was a bit of a shocker, since the gate looked no better than that of Indira Park back home in Hyderabad. Anyway, our bus stopped there and we were asked to carry our 'hand-baggage' with us and follow the guide. He took us through tiny, sewage-lined lanes which prompted some of the girls to start singing the song 'hum kis gali jaa rahe hain!' and we laughed off the initial shock. We stopped at a decrepit hotel and were asked to freshen up. There was no hot water and not enough time for four of us sharing a room to bathe. We managed somehow and in an hour were served breakfast which consisted of ten quarters of aloo parantha and makhkhan (butter). The looks on our faces told our guide that we weren't all that happy with the arrangements. But he assured us that the hotels at Shimla and Manali would be far better, and we weren't going to stay here anyway. So we were then asked to carry our essentials and leave the rest of the luggage there, which, we were promised, would be deposited in the bus. We then followed our guide to the Taj Mahal which was about a minute away from the hotel, and waited in line to set our eyes on India's contribution to the Seven Wonders of the World.
At first sight, the Taj Mahal promises you a sight that you will surely remember for a long time. You'll surely have seen nothing like it. To me it was like standing in front of a picture, perfectly drawn, and I got to photograph it exactly like all the photos I had seen of the beautiful monument. Here's the photo, notwithstanding my amateurish photographic skills:

In contrast to the cold morning, Agra's afternoon reminded us of summer back home. And it was in this heat that we walked out of the Taj and all the 2 km-long way to Agra Fort.
Tired as we were, it didnt stop us from admiring the beauty of the fort. This was the place where all those Mughal emperors, Akbar, Humayun, Babur, Shah Jehan and everyone else one would usually picture as staring out of one's 6th grade history text books, all lived and ruled over their kingdoms. It was where the stories we had learnt by heart as kids had actually unfolded to create what is called history today. Some realisation.
The four of us, Shruti, Shilpa, Siri and I explored the fort right through the populated entrances to the dark corridors. Surprisingly, no one stopped us, and we didnt get lost. We read the names of each of the structures with interest, but the only name i remember is the Pearl Mosque, which was Shah Jehan's private mosque. And of course, the Diwan-e-Khas which had this huge black marble seat, or it might have been a throne. No doubt each of those kings might have made their own mark on the Fort as the generations went by. Some photos:

After Agra Fort, at around 17:00, we were picked up by Himala ( our bus ) and taken to a dhaba for lunch. The food was pretty good, contrary to our beliefs. I guess that's one difference you wont fail to notice while travelling in north India. You dont get good food in dhabas while travelling in south India.
We were then off to Shimla after lunch. The rest of the day was spent in the bus, except for a stop at a dhaba at 23:30. Initially the night took a fast pace with games and happy talk floating around, but towards day 3, everyone was all cramped and groggy due to lack of sleep.

Industrial Tour

2008-12-06T22:36:00.004+05:30

The first 9 days of vacations were F-U-N!!!
I went on an industrial tour with my batchmates from the IT branch. Ironically, there was nothing industrial about it, it was all tour, and thus we behaved like tourists to the T. Man it was FUN!

I simply have to talk about it in detail. I will do so in the course of the following week, and trust me to give full justice to every paisa spent, every sleepless night and every pain in all the places of the anatomy.

I'll start with Day 0, the day before we started on the tour. The date was 27th November, the day after the Mumbai terror attacks started. My family and friends were pensive about the tour and though I was upbeat about it that morning, after a couple of phone calls filled with murky warnings from well-wishers, i was left speculating whether it indeed was a good idea or not. but my friends, having got no such calls, and having planned for this trip for about a month, were sure that they would go. i reached home and started packing anyway, trying my best to ignore all the supposed danger, and managed quite well. my father helped by calling up people to verify whether it was safe to be holidaying at this time, and finally it was decided that i would go, if my best friend Siri was going. So i packed my stuff and left for her house at about 20:30, as i had to be at Secunderabad Railway Station for the train at 06:50 the next morning, and doing so was going to be difficult given that my home was a good half hour away from the place.
Once i arrived, i knew that Siri wasnt sure about the trip too. Her sister and brother-in-law were trying their best to talk her out of it. they finally succeeded, and we were busy informing everyone that we wouldn't be going. back then, i wasnt looking forward to the tour at all so wasn't all that disappointed. after the tedious exercise, we thought we should find out if we would get our money back. It turned out we wouldn't, and we went to bed with that costly prick on our minds.

Day 1
For Siri and me, the day started at 00:00. We were wide awake and talking stuff trying to reassure each other that the decision that had been made was the right one. I couldn't help but think in terms of the money that was involved. after a lot of dilly-dallying about the pros and cons of going and not going, we finally settled on a fresher decision. We wanted to go. So now we had to wait for 4:00 when we could wake Siri's mom to inform her that we really wanted to go, given the feeble chance of anything happening to us during the trip and the money that we would lose if we opted out of it. She gave in, and we were back to packing and plotting. We reached the station at 06:20. The girls in the IT 4/4 class are a fun bunch, I was a part of the fun party by noon, and we played games and shared silly ghost stories and found humor in the silliest of things. The joy was complemented by the fact that someone i had disappointed earlier that morning didn't think i was all that bad after all, so i retired with a mixed sense of relief and the kid of tiredness that too much mirth brings you.

...

2008-09-20T21:03:00.002+05:30

Just found these scribblings today...

When it's raining outside, and you're reading your text
cos u have an examination, on the tuesday next,
the sounds and the smells are what your memory stores
and not the equations and proofs, all that which bores.
but what a pity, you can't write them down
cos they're not what mere words can really spawn
and your examiner would fail you again
cos he doesnt understand, that he's being a pain
but then you dont remember all that, do you.
as all u know are the beckons of the sky so deep blue
but what's this, the smell of soil and water,
that seeps into my senses, as did harry potter?
lo, it's not raining but the smell suggests otherwise!
is this another act of nature, a pleasant move to surprise?
brow furrowed, i peek out from the balcony over the parapet,
and see my neighbour watering his plants, just as i had bet.
his corpulence and shiny pate call me back to reality
what id dreamt and what transpired were in a contrariety.

I'm surprised i could write such stuff when i was preparing for a supplementary exam on one of my favourite subjects ( operating systems ). Now how it qualifies as "such stuff", and exactly what "such stuff" is, is entirely for you to decide!

Yet-another-review :)

2008-05-22T18:22:00.003+05:30

Okay, sentimental posts are just not me. That's a given now!
Aside, I finally got to watch The Devil Wears Prada today, and Wow. Just Wow. Not having read the book(oh how I want to now!), I am totally in love with the director. And boy, Meryl Streep is a perfect piece of work. The way i had to strain my ears to catch her every word, it felt like sitting right there in Anne Hathaway's shoes(isn't that literally a treat!?, sure the feet would weep themselves to death..) .I didn't dare to gulp the rest of my lunch down for fear of missing something.
The way Anne transforms into a thorough-bred Perfect Assistant is so simple and natural, and totally appealing. The story is predictable and so it's actually smooth sailing for the first time viewer, and yet, my hunch is if you're watching it for the second time you might get a pleasant surprise, in that you don't want to, rather can't narrate the story to your friend who's watching for the first time.
Also, what might really strike a chord is how a human side to The Devil is portrayed. Sans make up and in her pajamas, with a perfectly balanced tear, Streep manages to carry it off flawlessly with the same tone that helps the Devil get to her, the sardonic comments are totally in place, and you'd still want to show some sympathy!
Watch it for her. And all the vogue. Who knows, you might just end up changing the way you walk!

Relief

2008-05-19T19:42:00.002+05:30

What i wouldnt do to get some of it. This year has been chock full of ups and downs, and most of them have been downs. Fate clearly had plans to bury some part of me it didn't want me to have. Or i'm just blaming fate out of my own weakness, too cowardly to admit that it really is all my fault.
What hurts is that nothing that has happened is fair. Even the Up part of the year happened by pure chance. As i sit here brooding about it, something i had decided i wouldn't do once i'd got over the whole thing, one after the other, i realise that i've looked at each event in every different way possible. And though some of those ways have helped me get out of the neural mess, none of them sounded fair. Does that mean I should never expect anything to be fair at all? Do i just take whatever happens in my stride and live with it? Or do i shout out that it's all unfair, and get back at the people concerned? But that would make me a jerk, not being sportive and caring only about ego. So where does that put me? What category do i belong to? Now if you're thinking of telling me not to bother about what others think, this is all from my own head. I'd categorize myself. Now you think, two hoots! just dont think!? I'm raising an eyebrow: is that even possible. Frankly, wouldn't one bury oneself in introspection when one's had a bad day?
Maybe i really shouldnt think about anything, perhaps pack a rucksack and get out of the city for a while, which isn't possible without begging for permission and answering a million questions, which would anyway replace any loss of headache the end result might grant.

So what do i do to get some relief?
where do i go to fix my head?
if i could scream, and that's a big If.
i'd be shouting what i just said
And you'd be bored, the neighbours would crash door
and that would only help to wind me up some more.

Really sorry about that; if u'd care for the rhymes, thanks!

Race to the Exit!

2008-05-17T13:02:00.000+05:30

Phew, what a life! It's been too too long since I've written. Cant say I missed it, though ;). Anyway, I watched this movie called Race today. It being my first movie in 2008, I had some expectations, which, I suppose, is the reason I was so disgusted with it.
Some hallmarks: A hell lot of twisted tomfoolery, involving a lot of Bipasha Basu's skin, throw in some of Saif Ali Khan's too (no complaints there!) and a hundred million bucks; what currency, I didnt notice, and a lot of neck (rather, lack thereof) belonging to Akshaye Khanna. Gosh, having so much flesh around the neck, of all places certainly doesnt help in making suave dance moves!
Okay so here's the deal. Saif and Akshaye are brothers, bada bhai Saif supposedly in love with his 'kid' brother, who's predictably a spoilt drunkard. The girls are Bipasha and Katrina. Don't ask for names, they'll spoil the fun. Ok so Katrina is Saif's secretary, and Bipasha's his girlfriend. Now one guy can't have all the girls, so chota bhai enters and happily flirts with Bipasha, and they fall in love and all that, to the innocent viewer, but you know, humans can get so greedy and all that, so all this was actually just 'natak' by chotu to kill off bhaiyya for his insurance, and these two get married, according to the plan, of course. Now how dyou kill your brother? Send your wife to sleep with him, accuse him of the same, threaten to jump off, but send him over the top, instead. Simple enough, eh. But then you cant trust your wife to keep her big mouth shut. So bhaiyya actually knows of the plan and lets dear chotu get on with it. So then we expect wifey to push bad hubby off the parapet, but who knew, 20 million bucks can cloud ones eyes and wifey ends up pushing bhaiyya. Bhaiyya dies, brother cries, inky pinky ponky!
Enter Anil Kapoor and his irritating assistant, Sameera Reddy. Bollywood in 2008 has introduced another attitude in its ladies.. acknowledge the guy's brains, all the while looking like a dodo in a mini skirt. So Inspector Anil pokes his abnormally large nose around town and digs up dirt on chotu, now rich, infamous and mourning. Re-enter secretary Katrina who claims to have married Saifu and was just about to inform everyone about the happy proceeding, when the unspeakable happens. So some more mourning and shouting and accusing. And smelling rodents all over by smart alec Anil.
Now chotu's in a fix, his brother'd got himself married before conking off so another innocent life stands opaque in front of his cash. But chote miya is smart, he's actually planned everything with secy and wifey was only being used, if I may be so candid. Yeah that's right. Change of names in team B: chotu and secy. Team A you ask? Saifu and wifey(Bipasha) of course. Just how did you expect Saif to actually be dead???? Shame on you!!
So, actually, Saif isn't dead. He saves Bipasha from being killed off by a rich Team B (they actually buy smart alec Anil, who does some dumb natak just to keep the viewer guessing at every darned thing, to get his 25 million), dramatically, as in the (g)oldies. Abhi, face off between Bhaiyya and chotu. Who wins? whoever wins a race, of course. Now some more wickedness from chotu earns him a nice fiery coffin, wo bhi he has to share it with his partner in crime. In case u were thinking that he'd kill her off too to keep all the cash to himself, you're getting in the groove, I must say.
Now everyone's curious, how did smart smart bhaiyya survive the fall from the parapet? Simple, buy the police, get some riggings done, and a fake dead body to stage your own death. So team A, plus 'beimaan' police wala and dumb assistant get rich and live happily ever after!
Writing this was really fun!! So should I watch another sad sad movie or not? ;)

2007-07-02T20:24:00.000+05:30

Don't read this if you dont want to change your impression on me please.
It was my first day as a third year and I was feeling like a misfit in class, in the kingdom of geeks; the hell, I had been trying to act geeky since I set foot there. My classmates will, of course disagree. No one likes to be called geeky, but this is a result of two years of drinking geek potion hoping to fall in love with the geeky nature of the peer party.
Why don't I think like the other girls in my class, why don't I join in the fun when everyone's laughing about something, and wonder what part of yesterday's dinner hadn't digested instead? Well, this fact is what struck me today, as I was so out-of-job, with all the free hours in the world.
I frankly feel like packing off to some secluded country and settling down to growing plants in the 'backyard' of my tree house and feeding the birds and refusing to pay taxes, à la Henry David Thoreau. There is good life to be lived away from all the paradoxical existence that most of us lead, or are going to. Right now I'm finding it scary that my later years might be spent in a cubicle writing code snippets, or ordering spiffed-looking people around who're filled with nothing but curses when their thoughts waver around me.
Maybe I'll be singing a different tune soon, but I sure would do better to keep these mind-numbing bits of fluff out of my head for my own health. Didn't I tell you not to read this?

Global Warmbling

2007-04-20T20:24:00.000+05:30

A friend passed it on.

Makes you go... "Heh heh. This girl here's not had anything to do for ages.." not that I'm saying that's an accusation, but there you have it. Life's not all haa haa, hee hee. Take a stand, get some grit and help to show those green gases the door. If you want me to make it a tad more attractive, Here's your chace to act Captain Planet!! Let our successors get some winter and trees and World's Funniest Animals treats. Selfishness isn't a very nice habit, you know. I'm not providing a list of what-to-do-and-what-not-to-do things. I will, though. Till then, just think about it. We humans are the only ones who can do anything.

Goodnight sleep tight/Good day, smile all the way.

2007-03-29T20:18:00.000+05:30

Just listing last month's events.
TSummit'07 took two weeks of my life, and they were
the best weeks I've ever had. Thanks to TSummit, I found
some corners of my college I'd never thought existed, and
also some fun people I never thought existed :D; and some
fun things to do. I also found JAM, The fun thing to do.

Sheeeeeesh.... makes me realise I've been doing nothing
but attending classes and writing assignments, hogging
and bunking the odd class, that which I classified as fun.

So I TSummited and had fun.
After that came the attendance-war. The notice board said
I'd been attending 67% of my classes, and the minimum was
75%...oh no oh no.... this situation was totally new to me....
and I'm still finding my way through it. Next, the assignments
and classes. Classes were like Time Turned versions of
intermediate college. Assignments were, and still are, like
10 p.m. traffic at Panjagutta. Curses, curses.

I'm hoping to get back to blogging seriously, sometime in
May when I'll have been done with all the slogging and mugging.
Am I saying the same thing every blue moon? Let me check....

P.S. Feels good, the TSummit certi... Thanks to all concerned.

When the head rolled.....

2007-01-30T22:12:00.000+05:30

It happens to me all the time, all the time I sit to blog, that is. If
I had this idea in mind the previous day, it would suddenly seem
obnoxious. Then and there I'm stuck. I'd browse other blogs for ideas
and just drool at all the stuff they put in. Right now, I'm in just
one such turmoil. What am I going to blog about this time, the Jade
Goody/ Shilpa Shetty spat, my disappointment with Guru, my 1st semester
results, Cats, or the weather? It's a small matter,but it bothers me
when people ask,"Were you the one who used to...?". If I decide to
update, and just end up with a blank, the idea just comes to me, the
smallest possibility, that click, and voila, gone is my blog, I'm no
more a resident; maybe I'll venture back, mostly not. It is because I
haven't got any ideas, or coz i'm lazy? I'd rather it was the
latter....so you see, I'm so confused......

I feel a challenge in my soul today
Questioning things I believed in so firmly yesterday
How can I have faith in myself and what I feel to be true
When the next day I feel my heart and mind telling me something new
I feel the twisting of my soul today
Something is challenging my perceptions
And what I'm going through is hard
And I admit, right now I'm not O.K. So...

Right now, I am confused
Right now, I don't exactly know what to choose
This day feels so unlike the rest
Right now, I am confused

Hopefully my fairy godmother will wave her wand and I'll get some Ziploc-fresh things to rant about. 'Til then,

Try to get the cat away from Medusa...

Harry Potter and the Fiery Magic-Globe

2006-12-30T09:02:00.000+05:30

Rowling's 7th book,..err.. it's title has been 'released'. Some
cause for outbreak of tension among us potter fans eh.
If you're a regular visitor of her website, you might have noticed
a new diary entry, claiming she'd had a dream about her being
Harry, and this particular 'news snippet' has been doing the
rounds in various fan sites, discussion forums, blogs, news papers
even. I don't mean to be hypocritical here; being a fan of this
particular series, I am excited about the final book, but I seem to
be quite 'behind the times'. I should have been arguing over who's
going to be dying, or who's going to be the mysterious 'R.A.B',
whether Dumbledore is really dead or not, and which side Severus Snape is actually loyal to, or if he's a double agent. Alright I
sure did wonder about these things but to actually fight over
it, wo bhi in public, well that part goes over my head. And I
sure would consider Saddam Hussein's dreams as more
important and surely more interesting, absolutely zero offence meant :D. Why doesn't she just shut it all, finish the book and
go to bed? In the least she'll be preventing this recklessly foolish
behaviour of the 'higher-up's in the fan community'. The Potter series is surely a grand piece of fiction, but the
bigger factor that supplies the books' popularity is the way
it's been promoted and marketed. One would love to be doing
what's in than not, and J.K.R. has seen to it that her books become
the order of the day, and how! If you're skeptical,
just enjoy the fantastic tales, just dont jump into the hyped-up bandwagon, it takes lesser energy to form your own ideas
about the climax than listen to the endless rounds of
discussions, and surely more fun.

2006-11-07T11:53:00.001+05:30

As, I said before, I've been a reasonably good student. But check out the heights of being good at getting marks:

Sweta (refer this) called and told me that I'd got 177/200, and I was dumb-struck. I had expected around 78% and ended up getting 88, these are only the sessional marks, mind you. Sweta herself got 198/200, yeah, and this is engineering 2nd year we're talking about. That's not all. Our class has got marks like 195/200, 193/200,191/200,180/200, and then comes yours truly.

What is happening over here? We shouldn't be getting such marks, the world shouldn't be so flat, the cats shouldn't be showing signs of loyalty, the clouds shouldn't be so low.....why the hell??..... can't the lecturers do something about it?? Are they so helpless that they have to award marks such as these?? Is Engineering trying to adapt the competitive exam feel, or is it just me and my under-worked guts?? Someone tell me!! Am I studying too much?? Sure as hell the above mark-holders are. I just dont see any other branch or class in my college being so bothered with sessional marks. My neighbour's 14 year old kid has been attending IIT coaching classes for the last year and he comes home every weekend to clarify doubts, and his parents can be heard saying that he can do math at home but doesnt get enough marks ............@#$!%%^ MaRkS mArKs MarkS MARKS marks !$%^&$#^......

I see times changing ahead of me.....parents visit the clinic to find out whether their new-born has enough brains to score record-breaking those-things, men of the underworld keep their business roaring by simply sending threat-letters to corporate colleges and 'concept' schools ("We want your moolah, or we will kidnap your college topper")If this happened to the principal of my college (where I did 11th and 12th), the principal would coax the gangsters into a 'business-deal'.....people are exchanging marks for money....
All this just doesn't seem to affect some people, but then it seems to affect everyone around me, well, maybe they just dont say it out loud.... or maybe it is happening all over, and I am right somewhere, or maybe it's happening only in my part of the world, which is quite small( am I glad for that or what!)

Let's all make up our minds and try to change the educational system, let us try and convince atleast a fraction of the population that marks take you only that far, let's bring it down to a level where everyone has everything, everyone is educated...let's educate them!!!

This may seem like I'm against getting marks or something. I'd like you to know that i'm only having my say about people around being obsessed with them.

di da di da tu tum tu tum

2006-10-15T21:53:00.000+05:30

It's been a while, and I wonder if anyone is actually reading my stuff. Anyway, as I'm not posting on any particular topic, let me just randomize the post....the title is random, well almost....we had English 'Lab' in first year, which was when I learnt how to define the sound of a particular sentence...LOL, what fun it was....to analyse such silly things as come-and-go sentences and scrutinise how we've been speaking a language, and, in the process, learn how to repair an old out-of-order tape-recorder, which takes the liberty to stop gracefully as one tries to sleep off it's verbal compost....now, did I just call it fun?

And an update on my last post: I passed my driving test - marginally, I should add. And now I'm a kinda-proud license-holder.

'Wad else....?' Well, we've moved to a new, better house, and settled down good and proper, so good and proper that it became so routine that I had to change myself to, well, change.

And I've got my mid exams in a week and haven't even started preparing. The stuff that was waiting to be gulped down a fortnight earlier is still waiting, and the heap is growing gradually into an Everest of sorts, and here I am blogging away to entertain my poor bored soul. Only mine. Boo Hoo. Sob Sob. And bloody why, oh why did I have to volunteer to give a seminar in a much-disliked subject of mine?? Some god-forsaken inspiration to improve a badly wilted marklist....how very typical of me.

Well it all makes me look like a hyper-bored human living solely for nothing, if anything like that is possible. And I must admit it's kinda true, the way I'm disconnecting every para of the post...(sigh), makes me feel like I'm waiting for an apple to fall, all the while sitting under a banana tree. Guess I should greet the exams like old friends (duhhhh!!!!) and hi-five them and plan for some holidaying later on. Some ray of light at the end of a tunnelled Great Wall of China....

This is something one can never learn off a book.

2006-07-24T20:56:00.000+05:30

I have been a reasonably good student in college.

I signed up for driving classes last month. I started off well, and everyone including me was happy. That was until last Monday. You might have felt sometime: Today isn't going as I'm wanting it to go. You can say that that's exactly what I felt as I sat in the driver's seat. I assumed that I should dismiss the thought and I started the car(read: a rather careless assembly of ancient motor parts, which just happened to be in their right places for just enough time.)
"Grunt grunt...bang!" The car, you guessed it, stopped. The shopkeeper nearby looked interested, and so did the onlookers. My Sir gave me a look that said:"Do that again and I'll just about allow you to do the steering."

Okay mister. I know what I did wrong. I started it again, and held on to the clutch this time. And Yay! It moved!! Well, it moved, and nothing else. A few paces and I was heading straight into the speed breaker, which greeted the local residents every weekday by trying valiantly to dislogde a few neck bones as they went over it on their two wheelers( you might include the car I was in). No problem. Still in first gear. "Bump, clang..*ouch* ..thud!@%%$#@."

Woah. A few metres into the 8 km long torture, and my palms are already sweating. I'm actually reliving a bad, !bad!, *bad* experience. Let me finish it though, or I'll be sleeping trying to swerve out of the way of the endless mass of vehicular population(read: fan, sound effects provided by Mr.Next Door's T.V.)

Yeah. I hold on to the steering wheel *hard* and steady the moving mass of assorted metal and take a turn. Goes alright, oh but these things tend to happen, a tiny ray of light is but gladly accepted when one is trying to escape the unattended mass of emotions. You actually feel the unsolicited effects of a dementor attack, even though you're a muggle. Now if you're staring at the words 'dementor' and 'muggle' with a *familiar* buzzing in your ears, shame on you!

Uh oh. I'm going haywire with my narration of my version of 'A Series of Unfortunate Events', though it may seem I'm just juggling (with?) your time(giggles).

Okay mister. Woah. Yeah. Uh oh. That sums up the words I used on that fateful Monday while driving(learning to, twiddling with, playing around, et al). Now I'm glad to announce that I have reached the end of the month-long course(end of my tether, more like) and I'll be giving my driving test next Monday. Now was that coincidence or do the dementors like their Mondays??

Hurray!!!

2006-06-12T12:30:00.000+05:30

Guess what guess what!
I made Poornaa walk three kilometres!!!!
Yipee!!! Haba haba ho ho haba haba.
She had the misfortune of meeting me in Bangalore and being hungry at that particular point of time. So I bribed her with a plate of set dosa and walked her to one Sanki Tank, around one-an-a-half kms from her place.

The babe now owes me the same, and more!!
Hey Poo I'm sure you're going to comment some red hot lines,(wide grin) just try and make them spicy too!!He he.

Intro.

2006-06-01T17:21:00.000+05:30

Hey readers, this is Anusha B. I guess that must sum me up. Yeah, well your name is everything right? For now, let it be.
This blog is somewhat of an extension of my previous one, Anusha B. I abandoned it altogether. But go ahead if you want to know what Me is all,um..partly, about.
There was a time when I had thoughts of giving up blogging, but then boredom got me back where I was, and as I surveyed my blog, I knew I needed another one.
So, that's about what I have for now. Let's see what more Me has in store for You in the coming ..umm..days. :)